Movie Review: “Vampire’s Kiss”

I have finally seen the critically acclaimed classic, Vampire’s Kiss (1988), with an absolutely stunning performance by Nicolas Cage. And I was not disappointed.

This movie is a terrifying story that makes us question whether it is supernatural in nature, or merely a trick of the mind. An egotistical ladies’ man of a publishing executive is bitten by a vampire, and in one of the most authentic performances I’ve ever seen, Cage captures the harrowing descent into madness.

As with the brilliantly filmed and acted Twilight, sex is entwined with vampirism in this movie. There are some very classy sex scenes as well as a moving romance between Cage and a woman he meets at a bar. They have the same kind of electric chemistry as Kristen Stewart and that guy with the weird hair. At the same time, he puts all his effort into berating his hispanic secretary, Alva, who he clearly has sexual feelings for, and he is also engaged in an illicit affair with the sexy vampiress. Torn between the women in his life, Cage lashes out, culminating in acts of rape and murder as he allows himself to fully become a vampire (or a madman).

The scene in which he accepts his fate and shouts it to the world is a great piece of acting (watch clip below).

Cage’s transformation into a vampire is filled with moments of emotional intensity, which the skilled actor pulls off with finesse. Wracked with guilt and horror at what he has become, Cage turns a gun on himself, but when he is unable to destroy himself he breaks down into one of the most affecting crying scenes I’ve seen in some time. It almost made me tear up a little.

Ultimately, this movie is a triumph for Cage, who displays his wide range of acting talent, from the jerky boss to the dangerous villain to the despairing victim to the wild-eyed lunatic. Even his posh, sophisticated accent is perfect.

Vampire’s Kiss is sheer brilliance. It is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen, and by far the scariest horror movie ever made. The script, acting, and cinematography are all Oscar-level. Truly a triumph of filmmaking, and one that will stand the test of time alongside classics like Gone with the Wind (1939), The Godfather (1972), and The Room (2003).


Plot: 11 out of 10 plastic vampire fangs

Script: 11 out of 10 plastic vampire fangs

Acting: 1,000 out of 10 plastic vampire fangs

Knowledge of ABCs: Z out of 10 plastic vampire fangs

Crazy eyes: 10 out of 10 plastic vampire fangs

Scare factor: 11 out of 10 plastic vampire fangs

Overall: NICOLAS CAGE out of 10 plastic vampire fangs

Now, you don’t even need to watch the whole movie to know how amazing it is. All you need to do is watch this 10 minute compilation of all the best moments. TRUST ME. You will be HIGHLY entertained. Every moment in this video is pure brilliance.

Oh, and by the way… April Fool’s.

Categories: Reviews


  1. OH-EM-GEE! You had me on this deal. I was thinking to myself, how did I miss this great film? Here I thought it might be garbage, so I stayed away from it for all of these years. I stopped when you compared it to the acting in “Twilight” and wondered where you were headed. Some people love that stuff!! I hate to judge that particular subject and tick off half of my pals, you know?
    I guess I’ll just go stand in the corner for an hour, for having fallen for that…
    Bad Jimmy!


    • Hahahaha no worries, man! Glad you enjoyed this. My sarcasm can be really dry, and I figured people who hadn’t seen the movie might think I was being serious until they watched that first clip. I’m pretty vocal about despising Twilight, so I guess I’m just gonna go ahead and piss off people who like it. But seriously, this movie is really weird, terrible, hilarious, and did I mention weird…?

  2. R u crazy comparing this p.o.s with gone with the wind what kinda critic compares anything to gone with the wind and better yet the godfather think about a career change or a shrink

  3. Great, great review! 🙂 I couldn’t stop laughing by the end, then the last April fools line ended me I was in hysterics. Although I couldn’t understand the overly generous description of the movie as I was reading your review its what made me laugh then as they say all will be revealed with your last line, thanks for the laugh 🙂
    And i’m a big fan of both the movie and Cage’s overacted performance in it, he should have actually got an Oscar for this movie. Best actor!” 🙂

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