CDC on Emergency Situations: Floods, Earthquakes… Zombies?

As we approach May 21, the supposed day of the Rapture when Zombie Jesus will rise up and do the Apocalyptic Boogaloo, even the Center for Disease Control is considering some End of Days possibilities. They want to make sure that everyone is prepared for all types of emergency situations: floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, outbreaks of epidemics or pandemics… the usual. On such occasions, one might be encouraged to plan ahead and make sure you have food, water, medicine, and a safe place.

All good things to consider, says the CDC… when preparing for the zombie apocalypse.


Yes, the CDC implores us to be prepared for all possibilities: even the zombie apocalypse. After all, it’s just another situation in which you would take the same precautions, and the CDC would investigate it like any other emergency (unless, of course, everyone in the CDC has become hordes of the ravenous undead, at which point we probably won’t be seeing any results).

But, provided the CDC is not a rotting mess of walking corpses, their plans involve “consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine).” Sounds as if they are well-organized and prepared for such an outbreak. You know, like the soldiers from 28 Days Later. That ended well for them.

Well I, for one, am glad that I can put my trust and faith in the CDC to take care of me when the infected living dead come knocking at my door. But just in case, I might plan to keep a cricket bat handy. Remember, kids: remove the head or destroy the brain.

For more on the CDC’s take on the impending zombie apocalypse, read the full article here.

For some helpful guidelines for how to deal with the zombie apocalypse, see the film Zombieland. Some important rules this helpful documentary provides: Always wear a seatbelt, avoid bathrooms, and enjoy the little things.

What are your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse?

Categories: Thoughts


  1. Totally thought I would score 0 given my limited knowledge of zombies, but I had an 38% chance of living. It’s not a pass, but it’s not a flat out “may as well walk outside unarmed without a hat” kind of fail.

    I’ll count on you to write my memoir if it comes to a zombie apocalypse.

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